Wanted: Public Relations Pro in Dallas

Dallas has become a bright spot in a dim economy with the announcement of a new corporate division with the city's cherished Cowboys: Public relations. High time I say.

One position of particular interest in my field is the "PR Coordinator." I've copied the job posting below; it turns out I was overqualified.

Job Description:
NFL franchise Dallas Cowboys seeking public relations and marketing professional to redeem America's Team. Successful candidate will work with star-caliber athletes who forget they're football players. Team management are naive and head coach knows only one aspect of the game. Image management, brand positioning and public perception are at critical levels.

Examples follow:

• Terrell Owens reality show
• Dan Reeves bolts from 'Boys
  
• Roy E. Williams underachieves and oversteps
  
• Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson celebrity relationship
• Adam "Pacman" Jones fired
  
• Martellus Bennett fined by Cowboys - Rap video apology on YouTube (original R-rated version "removed by user")

Requirements:
High school diploma, GED or equivalent. No experience required. Introductory level knowledge of football. Common sense a plus. Experience working with convicts and mentally challenged adults preferred.

Submit resume, a cover letter and three references ASAP at DallasCowboys.com. No drug testing. EOE.

Sincerely,
Jerry Jones aka Al Davis Jr.