Friday, January 30, 2009

10 Things I Hate About Unemployment

Unemployment is the single most difficult situation I've encountered in my life. Weddings, funerals, births, moves - not even close. The weight on your shoulders increases exponentially over time when you're jobless. As a result, you find yourself noticing cracks in the pavement you never knew existed. The trees and clouds become unfamiliar. Hey, that one looks like an application!

But who am I to talk? More than 11 million people in the United States share my frustrations. I won't speak for them, but there are a few things I hate about unemployment...

  1. Self-loathing - After three months of rejections, dead ends, occasional freelance, ignored emails and no job, I feel like I suck - not to put too fine a point on it.

  2. Selfishness - Looking at the U.S. unemployment rate, I feel like I'm complaining about my weight to the world's fattest person. Seriously.

  3. Socializing (or lack thereof) - My new best friend is a computer. I named my laptop Yoshi.

  4. Money - Need I elaborate?

  5. Job Hunting - It's a vicious cycle. Optimism when you get a few responses, then deflation when it goes nowhere.

  6. Office Space - The "living room" is where I work, eat, watch TV, spend family time, entertain, and sometimes sleep. I don't like it much anymore.

  7. Daytime TV - SportsCenter is only interesting the first three times it airs.

  8. Sweatpants - I try to hide, but they find me every time!

  9. Landscapers - Every Tuesday and Thursday morning at 9:00 a.m. the leaf blowers rev up like clockwork. Honestly, it takes them 15 minutes on my porch alone. Thanks guys.

  10. Guilt - I wonder if somewhere along the line this is my fault. Is there a decision here or there that could've made the difference? Yeah, and those $10 nosebleed tickets to Bobcats games? I feel bad buying them too.

Alas, you must find happiness in the everyday, for this too shall pass!